The Power and Potential of Women of a Certain Age

A good friend of mine, recently divorced, decided she would like, but did not necessarily need, a relationship. Consequently, she decided to explore a number of dating services, both on and off line.

During her most recent adventure, she ended up at a dinner for eight men and eight women between the ages of 50 and 60. Although not an especially well organized event, she enjoyed the conversations with both the men and the women.  It was especially important for her to learn that the majority found her work to be fascinating – especially the men. I’m guessing that meant they also found her to be fascinating – as they should, because she is. 

It was without a doubt a boost to her somewhat fragile confidence as she re-enters the singles scene. 

Upon reflection, her experience made me realize that while I’m happily married, I’m not immune to this same vulnerability often experienced by women in their late 50’s and 60’s.

It seems to happen gradually and insidiously, but too often it seems we become invisible as we age. In corporate settings, it typically is the men who seem to have it easier garnering attention and credibility. It is common to see a woman add an intelligent suggestion to the discussion, be ignored, and 10 minutes later have a man say the same thing and receive positive feedback.

In public, even the most attractive women may no longer draw gazes. For women who have been defined by their physical beauty it seems especially challenging. For others, like me, who knew they were never going to get by on their looks, it is perhaps not quite as traumatic. 

While I can’t speak for every woman over 50, and it’s never wise to generalize, there’s sometimes more of us to love – both figuratively and literally, and yes sometimes it might also be just heading a little bit more south than we’d like. Regardless, while there is loss to grieve, there is a lot to be said for being a women in their 50’s and 60’s that demands celebration.

For the most part, we know who we are but we remember where we’ve been. The best part of hitting the age of maturity is that we typically know what we like, what we don’t like, what we’re good at, and what we’re not good at. The advantage of that experience, combined with an understanding of our values and principles is extraordinarily valuable. Those values contribute to wiser decision-making. 

Knowing who we are also tends to lend itself to authenticity. We often tend not to care quite as much about what other people think of us. As a result, we are less likely to play games.  While some don’t quite know how to take that and perhaps even find it a tad annoying, others find it refreshing as well as effective.

While it may simply be the result of more decades of living, or perhaps the experiencing of raising our families, we also have a tendency to be less judgmental, more patient, and more nurturing. That makes us excellent team builders as it translates to a collaborative, inclusive, and consensus-building leadership style that is clearly what the world needs now.

That same life experience also contributes to an understanding of the value of the journey. On a recent long weekend, it also occurred to me that I was enjoying the process of unwinding as much as getting to the actual destination of being unwound. I think that means as we mature, we’ve typically gotten better at being in the moment. It also means we’re ready and desirous of wanting to make a difference as we embrace the idea that we’re past the midway mark in our own life journey. That home stretch makes one realize how important it is to pay it forward.

I for one never saw it coming, but it might just be that the 50’s and 60’s are the decades of happiness for women. If that turns out to be true for even a small percentage of the boomers, look out world.

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